Even the most loving of families can be affected by social media’s negative impact, but one mother and disabilities advocate said one platform’s influence was even more devastating than she ever expected.
Kari Cox of Culloden, West Virginia, said like many tools, social media has its benefits and drawbacks; however, she found herself on the painful side.
“No mother should find out that their daughter got killed on Facebook,” Cox said. “My daughter was hit at noon, and the police did not come and tell me until four o’clock that afternoon.”
Cox’s daughter, Maribeth Cox, was only a few months away from earning her degree to pursue a career as a certified public accountant when she was fatally struck by a vehicle on Nov. 4, 2021, on 3rd Avenue and 18th Street near Marshall University’s campus.
The Cox family adopted Maribeth when she was 12 years old, with Maribeth spending nearly 11 of those 12 years in China.
“She was extremely smart in math because even though she spent 10 and a half years in China, math is universal,” Cox said. “Her English was horrible, but what was really funny was when she talked to you, she talked with a ‘hick’ accent. You would’ve thought she was born here.”
Beyond Cox’s initial discovery of Maribeth’s death via social media, she said various social media platforms were weaponized in the aftermath of the accident.
“Everybody was saying horrible things about her on the internet,” Cox said. “They said she was stupid and that she didn’t pay attention and all of these horrible things after she died.”
Since Maribeth’s death, Cox said it has pained her to see more recent pedestrian accidents in the same vicinity of Maribeth’s and hopes there can be changes in addition to the speed limit reduction to prevent further accidents.
Despite these tragic circumstances, Cox said she aims to carry on Maribeth’s legacy with her own foundation, providing scholarships to those who have been adopted, are in foster care or who have aged out of foster care.
“I would even like to have scholarships to help people that have Asperger’s like Maribeth did, because like a lot of people, she was massively intelligent and could have gone on to do whatever she wanted to do,” Cox said. “I don’t want people who have a disability to be counted out.”
In addition to the foundation, Cox said she wants to spread Maribeth’s legacy around the globe, as well.
“I’m hoping to go overseas to some of the orphanages and hand out Bibles or something like that,” Cox said. “Maribeth was an extreme Christian to the point that she fussed at me all the time about cursing.”
Though Maribeth’s death was life-altering, Cox said her daughter lives on within their home through her 14 children.
While Cox’s son Colin was the oldest for the majority of his life, he fell one rank down in birth order when the family adopted Maribeth – something Cox wanted to make sure he would be okay with.
“He said, ‘Mom, I was lucky enough to be born into a good family. This kid was born in China, then adopted and is being given away again. She just keeps losing and someone needs to give her a chance,’” Cox recalled. “So, that’s what we did. We took her.”
Prior to Maribeth’s adoption and after the birth of Colin, the Cox family decided to foster two little boys, Christian and Charlie.
“These boys were one and two, I was a nurse, and Colin was three,” Cox said. “I had just started a new job so I took two weeks off to get everything ready for the boys.”
Cox said after taking in the boys, she discovered Christian had a severe heart condition, and although she eliminated other aspects of her day to day life, she had no plans on quitting on him.
“I quit my job that day,” Cox said. “That was 20 years ago and I’ve worked, but I have not had a full time job since then.”
While working on the adoption process for Christian and Charlie, the Cox family pursued adoption in Korea for a young girl named Sui Mae.
Cox said the transition with Sui Mae was difficult due to her lack of care at the Korean orphanage that has since been shut down; even so, she said she never dreamed of giving up on her daughter.
“The concept of ‘I’ve adopted this kid and they aren’t perfect,’ or ‘It’s not right,’ blows my mind,” Cox said. “If I would have a child and it had a disability, you wouldn’t give that child away.”
After Sui Mae’s adoption, Cox found out she was pregnant with her now 14-year-old son, Caleb. After Caleb’s arrival, the Coxes welcomed Maribeth into the family.
Thinking their family was complete, Cox and her sons Colin and Charlie went to Florida to volunteer at a children’s nursing home. The boys soon connected with a little boy in that nursing home named Marty.
“Well, the director came to me and they said that Marty was up for adoption,” Cox said. “The boys called their dad and they’re like, ‘Dad, we’re bringing this kid home.’”
Cox said Marty was extremely ill and had been in the nursing home his entire life, not expected to recover by the staff.
“I never thought he would come home,” Cox said. “I thought we could at least be an advocate that if he did pass away, he would have a family.”
The adoption process for Marty began when he was seven. He is now 16 and has made a full recovery, Cox said.
While the adoption for Marty was underway, the Cox family was informed that Marty had a little sister, Courtney, who must go with him.
Soon after, the Coxes decided their family still had room to grow, and they privately adopted their daughter Mariah. Less than two weeks after Mariah’s adoption, they pursued the adoption of their son Kevin.
“This child’s devastated and doesn’t know us,” Cox said. “Maribeth picked him up, sat him on the steps and said, ‘They’re nice people. They did the same thing to me, and it will be okay.’”
At this point, the Cox family consisted of 10 children–something Cox said she remained content with.
“We were good with the 10 for years. We were done,” she said. “And then Mari got killed.”
Cox said she and her husband William started reading Maribeth’s journals, sparking the need to open their home to foster children once more.
“We made such a difference in not just her life, but all of our kids,” Cox said. “We needed to foster again, so we decided to just do emergency placements.”
Despite protests due to hosting a large birthday party, their son Cameron was placed with them for a weekend, Cox said. Cameron had been placed previously in 14 foster homes.
“The first two weeks were awful,” Cox said. “He finally broke down and just started crying and asking for me to give him away, and I told him that he’s never going to leave, and I don’t know what it was, but he needed that.”
When the Cox family received a call informing them of a residential placement in Pennsylvania, Cox said they politely explained he was now a part of the family.
“All he needed was somebody to believe in him and truly love him,” Cox said. “He needed someone to say, “I don’t care how bad you are or what you’ve been through, but we’re going to fix that.”
The Coxes knew their family story was not over yet, and they soon proceeded with adoption for their son Clayton.
“We joke here at the house that he’s Mari reincarnated,” Cox said. “He came to us on Christmas day, and he was just supposed to stay with us for a short time, but we were leaving for vacation the following day, and I just bought him a season pass to Dollywood, and the Dollywood pass sealed the deal.”
With intentions to close their home for adoption, the Cox family took the foster placement of a nine-year-old girl and her three-year-old sister. While they are not yet adopted, the process is underway.
Cox said although some of her children’s pasts have been marked with hardship, they are now a part of the Cox family and finally have the chance to flourish.
“We are no longer victims, we are now free. We are now able to move on, and we have been given a new opportunity,” Cox said. “If they want, I let them choose new names to leave that trauma behind.”
As for Maribeth, she will always be a part of the Cox home, even if she is not physically present, Cox said.
“I feel like she’s still spreading her love,” Cox said. “She would be so happy that these four little kids have a home.”
Kaitlyn Fleming can be contacted at [email protected]
