A New View
How can students feel safe anywhere if they can’t at school?
More stories from Nancy Peyton
A New Hampshire jury recently made a ruling in the trial of Owen Labrie, a 19-year-old St. Paul’s prep school graduate accused of raping a girl when she was 15.
The fact that this case even made it to a trial shows the progress that this country has made toward battling rape and rape culture in our society. However, this case also showed that there’s still plenty that needs to be done.
When it comes to rape being reported, people have to decide whether they believe the victim or the accused. More often than not, many flock to the side of the accused. Rape is no joke.
If a woman says that she’s been raped, she should be taken seriously. The problem lies in the fact that today’s society likes to make a joke out of everything.
In this court case, Labrie was quoted using the words “slay,” “pork” and “score” when telling his friends about his encounter with the victim. Labrie told the jury that these terms were “used loosely” and “could mean a range of activities, from kissing to sex.” No, these words are meant to demean both women and men. They make sex sound like something casual. Sex is one of the biggest responsibilities a person could ever take on. As such, it should be treated with respect. Consent is always needed.
This case has also sparked a debate on what real consent is. The rule of thumb is usually “no means no.” Perhaps a better phrase to remember would be “yes means yes.” It should be clear that both parties consent before engaging in any sexual activity. The victim said that she did agree to meet with Labrie but that she said “no” multiple times before he had sex with her. Some may argue that her agreeing to meet him was her way of giving consent because she “knew what would happen” but anyone should be able to say no if they are not comfortable with the situation that they’re in, and that no should be respected.
The fact that St. Paul’s prep school has a tradition like the “Senior Salute” where senior boys take the virginities of young girls before graduation, makes you question how many other schools turn a blind eye to traditions like these. One thing is clear: something needs to be done. If students can’t even feel safe and comfortable at a “prestigious” and “elite” school, how can they ever feel safe anywhere?
Nancy Peyton can be contacted at [email protected].
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Karen • Sep 3, 2015 at 10:42 pm
Owen Labrie was on full scholarship. Had he come from wealth, there would have been no trial. Now St. Paul’s School has made him a nonperson– even removing his name from the wall listing SPS graduates. After winking at the Senior Salute tradition, now SPS has shown its students a further disservice: that the scholarship boy was expendable, that he no longer exists. And this is how you can eliminate inconvenient people if you are privileged. Owen Labrie was scapegoated; this trial was about wealth and class as much as rape and consent.
Students and staff at SPS now discreetly report that the young accuser is really angry with her older sister for exposing this incident. Those same students and staff have been ordered not to discuss this, and everyone is to put on a good face about SPS because after all, the school will be sued by the accuser’s family (whose father is an alum).
When my daughter attended one of those elite boarding schools, I worried about the toxic culture of entitlement. As the mother of a beautiful young woman, it is a constant vigil. Fortunately, she survived and thrived. Knowing that culture from the inside, and reflecting on myself as a sexual assault survivor, I can tell you the convictions and punishments were not meant for Owen Labrie. The consequences are way, way out of proportion. The accuser will get support; Owen will not.
Still, the sadness and suffering of these two young people is untellable. May their healing begin, and may the world one day be a place where there is no space for this.