She’s too bossy.
She’s too serious.
She’s too emotional.
But, boys will be boys.
Why is it that women are consistently held to higher ethical, moral and simply existential standards than men?
These standards are pervasive in all aspects of life and even in 2024, women still cannot seem to shake them.
In nearly every capacity, I often find myself questioning whether the scenario would play out differently if the person in question were a man rather than a woman. Though I wish my mind did not follow this pattern, I can’t seem to stop myself.
Most recently, I have had this thought in regards to the intense backlash addressed to actresses Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo for their emotional vulnerability throughout their “Wicked” press tour.
Grande and Erivo play Glinda and Elphaba in the classic musical movie, which will be released in theaters on Nov. 22, 2024.
The project has clearly been a labor of love for both of the actresses, and it is quickly coming to a close – something that would naturally make any breathing human emotional.
However, social media crusaders have seized the opportunity to criticize both Grande and Erivo for their open emotions throughout this press tour. While the comments vary, the main message remains the same: “They are just being too dramatic.”
Returning to my relentless thoughts, I simply cannot help but wonder how this emotional availability would be perceived if Grande and Erivo were men.
Surely there would still be negative recoil – there always is – however, it’s impossible not to come to the conclusion that men would receive a general acknowledgement of respect. It’s impossible not to come to that conclusion because that is what women are shown time and time again.
I am quite confident when I say there would be one collective thought should these actresses have been actors: “Wow, they worked so hard.”
Women are repeatedly shown that their emotional availability is excessive or a sign of weakness.
In contrast, men who express emotional vulnerability are often celebrated, or at the very least, excused as being human. Think about the wave of online praise actors like Timothée Chalamet or Ryan Reynolds receive when they show any semblance of sentiment.
But, that expression is acceptable as their emotions are a vessel to display authenticity and makes them more relatable…right?
The most frustrating aspect of this double standard is it is not limited to high-profile individuals or the world of entertainment. That scrutiny is just magnetized for the world to see. What isn’t seen on a large scale is the everyday reality that women face in the workplace, relationships and public life.
From the office to home, women are judged more harshly for their emotions than their male counterparts.
This burden is impossible, and I wonder daily what it will take to break free.
Smile – but don’t smile too much, or that’s just weird. I’m deeply sorry for this one Vice President Kamala Harris.
Be polite – but not so polite you make people question your ability to be serious.
Provide emotional support – but just don’t let your emotion show too much, or people won’t take you seriously.
Even as I am writing this, I keep asking myself, “Am I being too dramatic?” The problem is just as much internal as it is external.
This is not my attempt to garner sympathy for myself or other women for simply being women. Lots of times, it really is spectacular. However, discussing these disparities is crucial, and despite what women everywhere have been conditioned to do, I refuse to apologize for that.
