The Parthenon

Do it for the deer

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DEA agent argues against Utah marijuana legislation on basis of animal welfare

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Of all the arguments against marijuana legalization, saving the rabbit population has got to be the dumbest one yet.

A DEA agent recently used the argument if marijuana were legalized in Utah, the state’s rabbits would develop a taste for the plant, resulting in a very stoned rabbit population. Oh, the humanity.

Sure, nobody wants high bunnies hopping around all over the place. Surely the world will turn to chaos as they take over the wonderful state of Utah.

But think about this: West Virginia has a huge deer population that sometimes gets a tad out of control. While hunting season tends to cull it enough, there are still deer carcasses all over the roads and interstates, as deer-related incidents are likely one of the leading causes of car accidents in the state, particularly in the rural areas.

Way better than blazed bunnies.”

Now, what if the deer were stoned?

If marijuana is legalized in West Virginia, the deer would likely start eating the cannabis plants and meander around high all the time. Hunting season would be a breeze. Lazy deer everywhere. The deer would probably also be too lazy to wander into the road or stay around the marijuana patches instead. Deer population and car accident dilemmas solved.

Way better than blazed bunnies.

In all seriousness, poverty-stricken states like West Virginia (and the rest of Appalachia for that matter) could greatly benefit from the introduction of the cannabis industry. With the coal industry hurting the state way more than it’s helping and West Virginia being in the perfect growing climate for the plant, cannabis could open up great opportunities for West Virginia and her residents.

It is time to consider less destructive industries than coal to move Appalachia forward. The argument for a better wellbeing and economy greatly outweighs the dumb ones.

But really, do it for the deer.

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