ASK ALEX

My ex asks to hang out a lot. We’re on decent terms, but every time I finally hang out with him it ends up being a cryfest. I’ve pointed it out to him and it keeps happening. I don’t want to lose him as a friend but it’s very stressful. Please advise.

It sounds to me like your ex isn’t being a good friend to you, and if it’s friendship you want, you need to make sure he’s on the same page. If he’s not emotionally ready to have a friendship with you, one which excludes crying completely, you both may need time to cool down. If you’ve pointed this out to him already, and he’s not being receptive, I think you can take that as his answer. If you’re interested in discussing it with him further, tell him how it makes you feel when you expect to hang out as friends and it becomes a “cryfest”. I think it’s okay to tell him that’s not fair, and that it’s not what you want. Perhaps try to find out what he’s looking for from the relationship you two have currently. Anticipate, though, for this conversation to be tearful.