The title says it all. For this past Valentine’s Day, I was my own valentine, and I’ve never been happier.
My self-love began with a regular checkup at the doctor’s office, then I bought model kits and then I got a three-piece chicken finger combo at Guthrie’s, where I got a surprise fourth chicken finger. It was a magical day.
Now, I have been my own valentine for 20 years, give or take one or two years. What made this one different is I realized why the card companies made this holiday. This is the one day where I can’t let anything else interrupt me reminding others how much I love them. When I talk about love, I am referring to more than just romance; I am referring to love for friends, family and, most importantly, oneself.
So, why am I sharing this? While I did focus on moi last Friday, I did check social media occasionally. I saw more people mad that others were sharing their Valentine’s Day activities than the actual activities! Now, do I agree with these people that it’s annoying to flood social media with how you’re treating your partner for the day? Yes, but I’m in the fun corner with the cool kids that don’t like it because it’s pulling you away from the moment. Most of the people online were just jealous they were lonely on Valentine’s Day.
Of course, part of this could be from our culture’s weakened, but still present, insistence on finding a relationship. A Pew Research Article from 2020 revealed that 46% of Americans feel no pressure from family to find a relationship, and only 10% feel a lot of pressure.
Wanna hear another interesting statistic? Most dating apps saw massive surges in app activity on and around Valentine’s Day in 2024. CBS News reported Hinge saw a 28% increase in likes and a 17% increase in matches and dates. On last year’s Valentine’s Day, Tinder saw 3.6 million likes and 78 million extra swipes.
Here’s another cool fact: In another Pew Research Center article from 2020, 31% of Americans listed themselves as single. Even cooler, that number was split in half between people looking for a relationship and people not looking for a relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day. When I was eating lunch at Guthrie’s on Friday, I didn’t see a single couple. I saw friends and families spending time together. Do note this was a Guthrie’s around noon, so how romantic was it really? But my point still stands.
Also, why are you so compelled to feel extra lonely on Valentine’s Day?
The way we love others on Valentine’s Day should not be exclusive to that day, save the presents and dinners. Finances are tight, okay? For me, Valentine’s Day is just diet Thanksgiving, but instead of showing how thankful I am for others, I am showing them how much I care for them. It’s why while I consider everyone my valentine, I was my own biggest valentine.
Love is a game of give and take. If you want a relationship with others, you can’t be the only one to take love, you must have love to give, and if you want to find that love, the best place to look is inside. Here’s a cool secret, you don’t need Feb. 14 to experience it, either, and if you’re still struggling to find that self-love next year, then just know that you will be my biggest valentine next year.
