Dear Parthenon


Zachary Hiser

Dear Parthenon is an advice column where readers send in their questions.

Dear Parthenon is an advice column where editors, Xena Bunton and Carter Truman, answer anonymous questions about life, college, and discuss opinions or pop culture from a girl and guy perspective. You can send questions through social media or email at [email protected].  

Q: What are some binge-worthy shows or must-watch movies on Netflix?  

X: Netflix usually only has a few good movies/shows to watch at a time, but I have actually been watching a lot of Netflix lately. I recently watched the new feminist movie “Moxie” in support of Women’s History Month and the fact Amy Poehler (an icon and one of my favorite comedians) is the director. If you want to watch some movies that may cause mental chaos in your life, check out “The One I Love,” “I Care A Lot,” and “I’m Thinking of Ending Things.” 

Regarding shows, I just finished the final season of “Schitt’s Creek” and Netflix’s docu-series, “Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel.”  

C: For the comedy fans out there, I can recommend only “BoJack Horseman” and “Trailer Park Boys.” Both shows are wholly unique in terms of style and delivery; the other perk is that these shows have been on since the early 2000’s so there is plenty to watch. For movies my recommendations are I am Legend and Sherlock Holmes 1 and 2. These movies are great and definitely fun thrillers to watch on a boring day. Also, I know it’s not on Netflix, but if you have HBO Max and you haven’t watched the Snyder cut of Justice League, what are you doing with your life? 

What is the best place to go for a first date?  

X: First of all, if you were to have any new dates during a pandemic, I highly recommend a Zoom date. You can make virtual dates fun by using apps that allow you to play games or watch a movie together. You can also always cook or study together as a virtual date.  

I think first dates should be somewhat short. Offer a lunch break at work or just a morning brunch. This lets you know if they eat with their mouth open, gulp their drinks like a 3-year-old or how many beers they drink in public. These short dates also give you an excuse to leave quickly if it is not what you expected.  

C: Alright, fellas, we all know that the first date is an important one; you’re trying to act like you’re paying attention to what she’s saying; she’s sad because she knows she can do better. But the main thing you must nail on the first date is location. Besides your personality, looks, and how much money you make, location is the most important thing. For this, I have a straightforward suggestion, take her somewhere awful, the DMV, a funeral, an ER waiting room, anywhere you wouldn’t want to be on a regular day. Plan a nice day with her, get her excited, and then make whatever excuse you have to derail it. Tell her your license needs to be renewed, or you have to file your taxes; whatever it is, make sure it’s terrible and drag her along with you. If she survives that first date, she’s either in love with you or you make a lot of money. 

Q: Best break-up songs to listen to?  

X: This depends on how the break-up happened and how you are handling it. Are you sobbing in your bed with some chocolate or are you wanting to scream lyrics in your car while you drive over 20 potholes? Either way— I’ve got you covered.  

Don’t worry, crying is good for you. My go-to songs when I want a good cry session (and yes, I purposely listen to them) are: “Let Her Go” by Passenger, “July” by Noah Cyrus, “Say Something” by A Great Big World, “Skinny Love” by Birdy and the iconic “Fall For You” by Secondhand Serenade.  

My go-to scream session song is and will always be “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. Why was I screaming this in my room when I was 7? 

C: I’m gonna shoot you straight on this one; I don’t have some long list of break-up songs. I don’t sit in my room all day listening to Drake like some sad jock from a teen fiction novel. When my hearts broke into a million tiny pieces because love let me down, there’s only one song I turn to; there’s only one man, who’s beautiful poetic melody can mend my broken spirits. That man is Ronnie Milsap, and the song is “I Wouldn’t Have Missed This for the World.” When I say I have spent many a sorrow-filled shower, car ride, or lonely night listening to this song and crying my little blue eyes out, I am not exaggerating. Unlike all of the sad-sack contentless pop songs we have today, “I Wouldn’t Have Missed This for the World” was made in a time when you had to actually make good music because your primary audience wasn’t teenagers whose ideas of a long term relationship is a snap streak over 100. No, Ronnie Milsap wrote about real honest to God love and how much it can hurt, and if you’ve ever been there, then “I Wouldn’t Have Missed This for the World” is the song for you.

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